Definition of Wife

David Bissonette : When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry : After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Socrates : By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.


Anonymous : Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.


Dumas : The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud : I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous : "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Sam Kinison : "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."


James Holt McGavran : "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."


Patrick Murray : Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.


Nash : The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...


Anonymous : You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.


Henny Youngman : My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield : A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Anonymous : A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


AnonymousFirst Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."